Thursday, April 19, 2012

Super Sweet Shredder!

Hi!  I'm Jake!

I get a ton of junk mail.  I also write a lot and I don't want people digging through the trash reading my joke notes.  So, for long time, I used a paper shredder to destroy all my documents.  However, that broke.  So, when I lived in Denver, I just started using my Hobo Trash Can Fire.

Well, now I live in Texas, in an apartment complex that would freak the freak out if I started burning stuff on my patio.  So, lately I've been doing what I call toilet shredding.  I rip the papers up then flush em down the toilet!  Nobody will ever read those documents again!  However, this gets kind of tedious.  Plus, it's kind of weird when you do this in a hotel and you have to ask maintenance to come plunge your documents.

To destroy my documents, I've used fire and water.  Throw three more elements into the mix and Captain Planet will show up!   Nobody wants that.  Captain Planet is too bulgy. More like Captain Package!

So, this week, I finally got a paper shredder.  I shredded documents for about an hour.  It was awesome. Here are 3 Things I am Thankful For because of my Super Sweet Shredder:

1. No more toxic fumes from the Hobo Trash Can Fire
As much fun as it is, burning a lot of trash outside your house makes you smell bad. It's bad for your lungs, too. Plus, the police come by and ask if you're ok.  It's an ordeal.

Shredding paper in my home is hassle free.  It's easy. Even the Pope could do it!  When he isn't putting on his hat or talking to church guys, he could shred a couple papal bulls. No problem!

So, no fumes and it's easy?  I am super thankful for that!

2. Less clutter makes me feel better.
I can be a little messy. All these stacks of paper really get me down. When I start shredding things, suddenly I have more room.  When I'm organized, it's easier for me to focus. I feel peace.  Plus, destroying my paper past gives me a release!

It feels so good!

3. Shreddings can be used for many household projects!
You don't have to throw your paper shreddings away. Paper shreddings can be used for all kinds of fun projects.

  • Instead of a bean bag, make a shred bag!  
  • Celebrate!  Turn your divorce papers into confetti!
  • Need a little kindling for your fire? Shredded tax forms burn real easy.  Fahrenheit 1099!
  • Shreddings are great for the hamster cage!  Give him some shredding bedding!
  • Use paper shreddings to make a pillow for your grandma.  Shred that version of the will where you don't get anything- then put that in her pillow! Everyone will sleep well at night!
Because I am reusing the shreddings instead of just throwing them away, I am helping the environment. Turns out it's really easy to help the environment! Plus, it's fun! I'm thankful for that.  you like fun, don't you?

Well, I am off to go shred some more documents. Maybe some CDs and credit cards, too.  I am thankful I have that opportunity.  I'm thankful you read my blog too.

Bye!  I'm Jake!


  1. I just can’t stop laughing! Haha! Anyway, it’s good that you know what else your sweet little shredder can do for our environment. Thanks for this post!


  2. Hello, Jake! You're in desperate need of a shredder, eh? It's nice to know that you've done alternative ways to destroy some of your documents. However, it's sad to say that some of them are really harmful to the nature. Good thing your super sweet paper shredder came to the rescue. Hehe! It's been a while now, and I hope you're still enjoying the help of your shredder. :)

    Curtis Pilon @ SpectrumInformation