Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Shoes make a difference.

Hi!  I'm Jake!

Last Thursday, I walked 3 or 4 miles.  That's a not a big deal. As an avid Coloradan hiker, I have done that many times in the past.  I have even climbed Longs Peak, which is over 14,000 feet tall. That hike is about 16 miles round trip.  So, a 3 mile stroll in Asheville, North Carolina is truly not a big deal.  However, if I didn't have shoes, 3 to 4 miles would suck!

So, here are 3 things I am thankful for about shoes:

1. Protection from road hazards.
The road is full of hazards including broken bottles, syringes, gum, & all kinds of unsanitary hazards that teenagers discard.  When I walk outside barefoot, I am subject to laceration, puncture wounds, infection, & gum.  Not cool.  However, with my shoes on, my feet are impervious to all these potential sources of hepatitis!  I am thankful for that!

Furthermore, when combined with socks, shoes drastically reduce the likelihood of foot blisters.  Don't fuss with pus!  Get some shoes!

So, I am thankful my feet aren't all cut up, infected, & pus-sy.  I truly am.  Pus, germs, & blood are not for me!

2. Sneak up on people easier.
Shoes help you sneak up on people.  My girlfriend Callie pointed out that when you are at home, you can walk around barefoot & sneak up on each other.  If you are in a dark alley somewhere, though, & you are trying to step around the aforementioned hazards, you will not be sneaky at all!  I curse when I stub my toe.  Imagine the sounds I'll make when I tetanus my heel with a rusty nail!  Yowzer!  You can't sneak up on a crackhead that way!

3. Torture your pal- for cheap!
My girlfriend Callie came up with this one.  If you have a stinky shoe, you could shove somebody's face in it.  Give them a good stink!  You'll both have a good laugh.

Plus, a stinky shoe can help you get important answers. Oh yes, Mr. Owl! You will tell me how many licks it takes to get to the center of that Tootsie Pop!  It's either the shoe or the truth!  Which is it going to be?!

Well, as always, I am thankful that you read my blog.  Also, you can hear my girlfriend on episode 25 of The Battery Podcast.  Here's a link to it on iTunes! Look for the episode titled "Dookie Kisses." Enjoy!

If you can think of any other things you are thankful about regarding shoes, please feel free to leave a comment!

Bye!  I'm Jake!

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